Hello again. It’s been a few months. A lot has happened since I last wrote. I’m currently having a good “chemo brain day” so I figured I would try to get a post in before it comes back to haunt me.
Speaking of chemo brain, I just realized I forgot to take my chemo meds. Hold that thought.
Okay. Let’s begin.
As of January 20, 2020, I officially became a breast cancer survivor. I completed 5 months of chemo, two surgeries, 20 rounds of radiation, and numerous tests, procedures, and biopsies. And then, for a brief month, I got to remove my face mask when going out, lighten up on sanitizing/disinfecting everything, and go to the grocery store on my own. I got to go back to seeing people, going on an airplane, and just LIVING life without being chained to my breast cancer treatment schedule.
At first, I felt okay. I’ve done this before. I spent almost all of 2019 in isolation because of my cancer and how sick I had become. It wasn’t safe for me to see many people. I couldn’t go to the grocery store. The only time I left the house was for doctor appointments. We already had sanitizing and disinfecting procedures in place.
A couple weeks later, I realized this wasn’t going to end anytime soon. Trips planned to celebrate being cancer free were cancelled. Trips to see family were cancelled. Life was put on hold once again. Just like 2019.
In all honesty, it feels like I am going through cancer treatment all over again, except this time, my brain works a little better and I am more aware of everything going on around me. And I would be lying if I didn’t say I was bummed out. I don’t know how much time I have left on Earth (especially because I have a high risk of having cancer again someday due to how aggressive it was) and I am stuck indoors once again.
I do understand and approve of what we are doing to flatten the curve. There are immunocompromised people out there like myself who depend on you to stay home. You could save a life, like mine, by continuing to social distance and stay home. We have to work together (but separately) to get thorough this pandemic together.
There will be a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it seems bleak and far away. It’s totally normal and okay to feel bummed out because your life has been put on hold. That was my 2019. If I can get through an entire year like this battling for my life, you can too.
Stay safe friends.